Milestones

Isn't it funny how the first four months of pregnancy fly by in a buzz of exciting activity? First we find out we are pregnant then cannot wait to see the heartbeat, thereafter we doubt ourselves on a daily basis and try to find any excuse to go back to the dr's rooms sooner than the app. scheduled a whole month away - ANYTHING just to make sure all is still well in there. We question why from one day to the next our morning sickness varies from extreme to non-existent, or our breasts are not as tender on some days (poking and prodding them to such an extent that they hurt in the end and you feebly convince yourself that they are, indeed, still tender, regardless of how they got that way). Going to pee and checking the toilet paper EVERY SINGLE TIME to make sure there is absolutely no bleeding or spotting. Sound familiar? Perhaps there are even a few of us who have pee'd on a stick even after all the confirmation in the world, just because we didn't "feel" pregnant between apps. Of course we must never forget the round ligament pain and every little stretch or twinge sends us into a panic as we hope and pray that it is not miscarriage.
We then start fretting about the blood draw at the 12 week scan - too scared to believe that we are one of the lucky one's. The purchase of a doppler at this time has crossed our minds as we are still too early to feel baby move but the reassurance of the heartbeat is a wonderful substitute and of course we convince ourselves that our stress is really not good for baby at all so the R400 plus is money well spent. We go for our NT scans, our stomach's wound up in a tight knot, hoping against all hope that the Nuchal Fold is what it should be and that the bloods will come back all clear. Not to mention (definately happens with me) that everytime the dr puts the sonar to my belly I forget to breathe and feel beads of sweat appear along my brow as I anxiously look for the reasuring pumping of baby's heart - then and only then, do I breathe and enjoy watching all the movements that I have yet to feel.
We move onto the next stage - Is is a girl or a boy? Counting the days off our calander until our next appointment. Our lives consisting of everything baby - all else coming a very far second. Putting stock in every old wives tale that ever existed including the Chinese Gender Chart and hoping that they all tell you what it is you are wanting to hear... those that don't - well you scrap them because they're just wrong aren't they? ;). EVENTUALLY you go for your 16 week scan - more bloods which equals more worry. And of course the very important hot dog or hamburger question. Yes, sadly some of our babies decide to sit with legs together, keeping it a closely guarded secret and the waiting game continues for yet another month. As you know I was one of the lucky one's and walked away with pictures of little hot dog firmly in hand. Celebrations for Oli - his first son, plans for the room, names, buying baby boy's first little outfit .... a flurry of activity. By now you are feeling movement now and again and loving every single minute of it. Perhaps you go for an early 3D scan and stare in amazement at this little being growing so well inside you. The movements become more regular and a pattern starts to develop - which means less need for the doppler. Then suddenly .......

you are 18/19 weeks pregnant, you're first four months gone to where? But now the weeks begin to drag on. Everything is done.. the flurry of activity seems to have settled into an almost calm. You know what you're having, you know baby is doing well, you know it all. The wait begins ........ You are past your earlier aches and pains, in fact you feel so normal you carry on your day to day activities as if you were not even pregnant. Stopping sometimes to remind yourself and others since you are a little miffed that it seems to have been all but forgotten. If you are anything like me - you want to be treated like a queen from beginning to end, to be waited on hand and foot but as things stand now I am still quite capable of shaving my own legs or doing my own pedicures.... roll on third trimester - and yes, I know I shouldn't have said that hehehe but I'll take my chances... I WANT TO FEEL SPECIAL!!

The thing is that the worry is still there, it will never go away but you give yourself small milestones, the biggest being the week that baby is considered viable. Now having been a member of a few TTC and pregnancy sites I have noticed that some infertiles (and I put stress on the word SOME) are of the opinion that unless you have to fight tooth and nail to get pregnant you take it for granted, do not appreciate it, even complain about it. I have two daughters yes and they did come easy to me but for this pregnancy I waited 5 years. All that said, I would simply like to point out that (as above) even though this is my third pregnancy, and I speak for all other pregnant women, I am not riding on the crest of a wave. I have REAL concerns all the time - I worry, I stress, I doubt myself just as much as anybody else .... but I NEVER EVER take this precious little gift from God for granted... that is where a lot of you are wrong.