20 Week Belly

Hello all you beautiful people....

I don't have too much to report on today but did take my 20week belly shot this morning and boy has it grown suddenly!!!

[click to enlarge]


I went to Mica yesterday and bought some cornices but they were made out of polystyrene and Oli told me they would not work so I need to take them back. I'm not even sure in the first place why these companies make flimsy cornices if they are just going to break anyway. I have taken the day off tomorrow to (hopefully) complete the painting of the room so asked Oli if he could go today to find the correct cornices. What we are wanting to do it to glue them to the middle of the wall where the two colours join and then place the wallpaper picture strip just above. We did the same for Morgan's room and it looked lovely.

Lastly, for those interested I have advised the moderators of FC that I quit and couldn't be happier with my decision. I have found a new home with the most amazing ladies (including moderators) and most importantly pregnant and TTC members are treated equally.. Thanks again for the invite Jacky - had I known the place existed I would have been there a lot earlier.

Ultrasound Yesterday

First of all I wanted to post a couple of pictures of the new blue that I chose and although my husband says he preferred the darker colour - I think I made the right choice...I only managed to paint a small section but you'le get the idea.

Oh and I just had to add a picture of my naughty Jack Russell Oscar - he is sitting like a real little poof!!!





As for my ultrasound - it all went very well and I managed to ask him all the questions I had listed. My little man was moving all over the place as usual but at one point was lying with his legs stretched out and feet crossed at the ankles like he was on holiday in there hehe .... I guess he should enjoy the space while he still has it.
I asked the dr. to take another look at my placenta and it is quite frankly - all over the place. It was on top of baby and down the sides etc. However, he did say that it is not low enough to interfere with my c/s - which btw has been booked for 9 July. He did say that in about 6 weeks or so it should have moved up a lot more. He picked up a bladder infection so has put me on antibiotics which I need to go and collect today - so thank goodness we found this out early rather than later.
I must say it was a very uncomfortable scan because he was pressing so damn hard on my stomach and it really hurt!! He was trying to get me a profile pic of baby's face but because of my placenta being in the way it just wouldn't work. Anyway after the scan he told me to go to the lovely lady in maternity ward where their 3D scanner is so I could get a printed picture of baby's face. We went through there and she was so gentle on my stomach and we still managed to see just as much if not more!!! Again we got confirmation that it is definately a little boy so if there was any kind of doubt whatsoever it has been erased. We didn't get our face shot though because like the last time, he was hiding it up in my placenta...!
I also asked him if I could take rescue remedy or something just to calm me down because I seem to have become very highly strung and emotional and sometimes I just don't like myself at all. He told me to get "Biral" - a herbal supplement, which he says has a very good calming effect and is (obviously) 100% safe.

Pregnancy & TTC Forums

Alright ... I seem to be completely up to date now with goings on in a certain local forum that I frequent [and I speak NOT of Fertility Friend which I love]. As I have said before - I have always felt the need to watch my P's and Q's in there and could never fully relax. Always feeling like someone was watching over my shoulder while I typed...

All the ladies that have left the forum by choice or by force have been nothing but amazing!!! I do get the impression that simply being pregnant is a sin. Why then, was a pregnancy room created? Supposedly to support those who had achieved pregnancy after being on the long and painful TTC road? Yes been there done that!!! But instead it has become a prison where you are constantly monitored, on the off chance that you unintentionally offend those still TTC. I doubt very much that 90% of the ladies ttc are bitter at all but it certainly does not help having a person in charge that seems to do nothing but wallow in self-pity.

To the powers that be - try being on both sides of the fence like Mandy-Leigh for one - who has been nothing short of amazing through all her heartache - putting her pain to one side to still follow the blogs of those she considers friends - pregnant or not pregnant!! The issue awhile ago came up about "babydust" - for fuck's sakes!!!! Have some people got nothing better to do than complain about a well-intentioned remark without disecting it and finding something in that that is grossly offensive???

Bitter self-loathing will take you on a path to self-destruction. Allow those who are pregnant to bask in all its glory and shout it from the rooftops [in the confines of the pregnancy room of course] - it is their God given right! But it seems even when they are posting in what they consider to be their own personal space (i.e. their blogspots), they are being penalised??? Who is it that has such a miserable life that they feel the need to spend every waking moment looking for reasons to punish someone for being pregnant??

To all the other pregnant ladies in there that plan to stick around - MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!!!!

As for me - I QUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

20 Week Ultrasound Today

On Saturday we took Morgan to her school function (picnic/braai) and met the other parents but in all honesty I wanted to faint the whole time. The temp was around 33/34 deg and there was not even the slightest hint of a breeze. We snuck out with another set of parents before anybody else and headed straight for Shelly Centre for a movie.... Wow!! when we walked into the shopping centre it was like walking into a fridge - what a pleasure!! Sadly, the movie was total waste of time. As usual Oli got his way and we watched an action called "Killshot" with Mickey Rourke.. the biggest load of crap I've seen in a very long time. My choice was going to be "He's just not that into you" which I know would have been a good show but he's promised to take me to a movie sometime now during the week so I'm certainly going to cash in on that promise!!

This afternoon I have my 20 week scan and as usual I am a little nervous. I guess it just comes with the territory. I hope my little man is still growing strong and healthy and can't wait for the doctor to give me an estimate on his weight right now. As for movements, I'm still patiently waiting for a good solid kick but sometimes I think he lies right at the back for a few days because I feel such little movements and then suddenly a few days later he's back to reassure me of his presence. My girls are really jealous that they can't feel him yet and my little one kisses my belly every night before bed time - but not before asking me where he is at that point. Hopefully I will have a nice profile pic of belly bean to add tomorrow..

Pictures

It's late Sunday afternoon now and my feet are killing me. I spent most of the afternoon painting only one wall - just to see how it would look. I completed the top bit which was Matt and once I painted the blue at the bottom there was just something I did not like at all. Firstly the colour looked off (too blue?) from the one I had selected on the chart and secondly it seemed to just stay wet and shiny. I read the paint tin again and it said "sheen or gloss finish"... Boy was I spitting mad!! I immediately called the guy at the Mica branch where I had bought it and explained to him that the paint for the top (from a different Mica) was not only half the price of his paint but it was a matt finish which I liked and the paint his staff had supplied for the lower portion of the wall was gloss. The two together made me want to vomit ***mad***** .... I told him that I was not asked at all by the person mixing the paint whether I would prefer high gloss or matt and since I am the average person off the street assumed they only give glossy paint if you are using it for a bathroom. Anyway - long story short, he offered to take the paint back if I point out the salesman since he is supposed to check customer's preferences. He will mix a matt finish paint for me and pay me back the balance as it is apparently quite a bit cheaper. I need to mention to him too that I want a blue with a little more "smokiness" in as this bright blue is just refusing to grow on me no matter how many times I look at it.

Anyway - I have attached some pictures but bear in mind that these will probably be the before pics because I really feel that the top and bottom are mismatched even though they were paired in a Dulux catalogue... *sigh* Oh well - I think I'm going to put in leave on Friday so I can fix up this mess.

[Click pictures to enlarge]



Morgan watching mommy at work - she helped a little bit too..


Oooh shocker - what was a grayish / very light cream on the catalogue has turned into purple???? Hopefully it will change when it dries


So far so good but wow is that blue blue!!!


Hmmmm - shiny blue??? looks like a workshop and NOT a baby's room!!


On the bright side - the top colour has settled nicely....

*******

It's Monday morning and I have that paint packed in my car so after work today I'm going to replace it with a paint that a more subtle, dusty blue...


Anyway I have loaded a couple of pictures of baby's clothes as my mom is visiting my sister in Jhb (who keeps up to date with my blog) and I wanted her to see what her little grandson has so far....




...the blue sandals were a present from my daughter Kaylah



Notice the bottom of the picture - see my belly getting in the way?

Yay its Friday!!

I have mentioned in previous posts that I have felt movement but all this time they were more like swimming movements or a hardness in a particular area of my belly, sometimes gentle popping sensations which I could never 100% be certain is him. But last night I felt my first definite, no-mistaking-this-for-gas, baby kick!! I can't say it was a hard kick since his little feet are only about 3cm long but it was on the left side where I knew his legs were since I had kind of guessed at how he was lying by feeling my tummy. I was so happy I wanted to dance hehehe. silly huh?
Then about 10 minutes after that I felt a pressure on the same spot and when I put my hand over it I felt a small bony thing which I assumed to be the foot ... of course he quickly pulled away from my prying hand. Oooooh I can't wait for the family to have fun with him!!

On to other things - there is a get together for parents at Morgan's school tomorrow. I probably would have come up with some feeble excuse to not take her but she has been so excited about mommy and daddy going with her to school that there is no way in hell I would let her down.
As for the rest of my weekend - I really really want to get started on the painting of the room so hopefully Oli is of the same frame of mind and perhaps we can get started on Sunday....?

I mentioned before that baby's room does not have built-in cupboards so I ordered two single door cupboards to be made up for me. Why separate cupboards you may ask. This is because space in the room is pretty tricky. At the bottom of the cot behind the entrance door there would be just enough space for a cupboard the size of a linen cupboard and again on the other side of the room the same size cupboard behind the bathroom door. I have asked that one cupboard be only shelves and the other to have a 60cm space above the shelves with a rod for hanging baby's clothes. I am still shopping around for a chest of drawers / compactum and may even get the same guy to make them up for me as well since his prices are very reasonable. I really hope the quality is not bad though so we will have to wait about 2 weeks for the arrival of the first cupboard.

As far as the pregnancy is going, I am 19w3d now. Last night was my first night of struggling to get comfortable but I have a feeling its because baby was lying right down low on my bladder. I could have just stayed on the toilet the whole night the way I was running back and forward to it every five minutes. The heartburn has really kicked in something chronic now but the pharmacist recommended last week that I not take Rennies as it makes the problem worse by trapping the gas (I suppose its like putting a lid on a volcano - pressure build up so when it pops off its so much worse). I am taking Eno Tums instead - not only do they taste much better - like different flavouried fruity sweets, but their active ingredient is calcium carbonate. I have found that this is helping so much more than any other stuff I have tried and this coupled with the fact that I am giving my bones extra calcium - what more could I ask for. As for Gaviscon liquid ... a TOTAL waste of time... it works for pretty much 5 minutes after you have taken a sip and then the acid breaks through.

I need to start watching what I am eating very carefully because yesterday and today when I climbed on the scale I seemed to have shot up 1.5kg's in 1 week???? Must be something wrong because that's just not possible. That said - it still freaked me out enough to lay off the white bread today and for breakfast I had Oude Caap Low GI bread with bean sprouts, low fat cream cheese and a piece of shaved ham. I know I have slipped because the constipation has come back to bite me in the ass so to speak. So back to lots of fruit, vege's and wholegrains and quit the chocolates and sweets for a while. Oh and suddenly I am a big fan of coca-cola which must also stop - its poison!! Today, however, I have stuck to water and lots of it....
I am contemplating walking with my daughter in the mornings but ... like I say ... contemplating
watch this space ....

Upcoming Ultrasound

Picture courtesy of my darling sister Cheryl ... gotta love it (note to self - watch Oliver with son at all times)

Can you believe I am 19 weeks and 2 days already? Wow! Where did the time go. I am still only feeling a lot of swimming type movements and definately know when baby is awake but the kicks when I do feel them, I kind've wonder was it or was it gas? The other night I was lying in a bubble bath and kept feeling a little popping sensation in the middle of my belly. I initially put it down to gas and then wondered if it could be kicks. I closed my eyes and felt them again, and again - deep in the pit of my stomach... but hang on .... how stupid am I???? These were so consistent which could only mean one thing.....BABY HICCUPS!!! hehehe - I actually laughed out loud I was so happy.
There is another story I feel I need to make a note of since I had very nearly forgotten about it. When I went for my 3D last Tuesday, she was taking all baby's measurements including trying to look at the bladder. At one point she briefly skimmed past the little black circle in baby's tummy, pointing out to me that it was the bladder. She moved on to take measurements of another part of the anatomy and on returning to the bladder - it had all but disappeared. Of course I was a little nervous by this as I needed to know that baby's kidneys were functioning properly. She then laughed and told me baby had just had a pee!!! Something I will NOT be saying should it happen a few years from now but .... HOW ADORABLE!!!!! He pee'ed in my stomach hehehehe. She went about checking other parts of the anatomy and on coming back to the bladder 10 minutes later it had already been refilled. Music to my ears, baby was swallowing amniotic fluid and pee'ing it out like a little champ [insert VERY proud grin here]..

My ultrasound is on Monday and I'm so looking forward to seeing baby again. I have a couple of questions which I need to ask and this time I really am going to assert myself with the gynae. I am so tired of walking out of an appointment pretending to be happy with his stupid mumblings in answer to my questions when in actual fact I leave even more confused...!!
The first thing would be the Ecotrin he has me taking up until 38 weeks. This is a very low dose of aspirin which thins the blood. Usually given to women in pregnancy who have suffered repeat miscarriages, have had high blood pressure in previous pregnancy, or developed pre-eclampsia in previous pregnancy. I have not suffered any of the above so why? - I asked him at my last U/S app and he simply replied "its to keep the placenta healthy" okay dr so when do I stop taking it - his reply "at 38 weeks". I know two other patients of his that are currently pregnant and neither were prescribed this pill so why me? Surely 38 weeks is far to late to stop taking the pill because I am having a cesear and we all know aspirin thins the blood reducing your chances of blood clotting which could be fatal in such an operation. Anyway - I simply have to tell him that I was not happy with the answer he gave me and would like a detailed explanation as to why he felt it necessary to put me on this shit.... afterall this is my baby and my body and long after the dr is gone I will be stuck with any long lasting effects of this, if any.
Then I will tell him that I need a detailed scan. The last scan he raced through - he did not listen to the heartbeat, he did not take any other measurements except crown to rump and threw me back a week again. Eventually at the end he decided to measure the femur and what do ya know????? I am actually right about my dates and he was way off!!! Stupid quack!! Let me remind you that I have a video taping these scans so it is important to me to get all the measurements including BPM of heart so if need be later in the pregnancy I can make comparisons in the comfort of my own home without calling his offices every five minutes to look it up in the file.

Then of course its the anterior placenta question. He mentioned to me at the last app. that I had an anterior placenta but gave me no further information. I want to know if it right in front and over my scar? therefore making a cesaer to dangerous to perform? Or is it half at the top and in the front? At what point does it start migrating upwards?

Sigh .... I know it sounds like I'm complaining but I get so worked up before these appointments because I know he disappoints me every time. This is a special time for me and surely its his duty to make it feel that way. This is the reason I have opted to see a midwife between gynae app's so that every 2 weeks I am seeing someone. As mentioned in previous posts, she is amazing - I love her, she is thorough and caring and everything that my gynae should be. Yes you may be asking why Im sticking with him? Well the other gynae's here where I stay have practiced here only and I'm a little nervous of small town dr's especially when it comes to cutting my stomach open. My dr. practiced in Martizburg and is a friend of my dr in Jhb (the one who delivered my daugher). He is very well known in the Durban circles and comes highly recommended. So there you have it ... his bedside manners may leave a lot to be desired but he knows his stuff!!

Valentine's

My daughter Kaylah went to a Valentine's dance on Friday night organised through her school. It just amazes me when I see her dressed up, how much she has grown and into such a lovely little lady. She has been so diligent with her weight loss and exercise and has blossomed into such a confident and well rounded person. Her total weight loss since mid 2008 is 6kg's so mom is very proud of her.

Here are some pics taken just before the dance (she is the one with pink ribbon on her dress:

In the car and ready to go...


Shy smile ....


They were each allowed one alcoholic beverage before leaving..

Milestones

Isn't it funny how the first four months of pregnancy fly by in a buzz of exciting activity? First we find out we are pregnant then cannot wait to see the heartbeat, thereafter we doubt ourselves on a daily basis and try to find any excuse to go back to the dr's rooms sooner than the app. scheduled a whole month away - ANYTHING just to make sure all is still well in there. We question why from one day to the next our morning sickness varies from extreme to non-existent, or our breasts are not as tender on some days (poking and prodding them to such an extent that they hurt in the end and you feebly convince yourself that they are, indeed, still tender, regardless of how they got that way). Going to pee and checking the toilet paper EVERY SINGLE TIME to make sure there is absolutely no bleeding or spotting. Sound familiar? Perhaps there are even a few of us who have pee'd on a stick even after all the confirmation in the world, just because we didn't "feel" pregnant between apps. Of course we must never forget the round ligament pain and every little stretch or twinge sends us into a panic as we hope and pray that it is not miscarriage.
We then start fretting about the blood draw at the 12 week scan - too scared to believe that we are one of the lucky one's. The purchase of a doppler at this time has crossed our minds as we are still too early to feel baby move but the reassurance of the heartbeat is a wonderful substitute and of course we convince ourselves that our stress is really not good for baby at all so the R400 plus is money well spent. We go for our NT scans, our stomach's wound up in a tight knot, hoping against all hope that the Nuchal Fold is what it should be and that the bloods will come back all clear. Not to mention (definately happens with me) that everytime the dr puts the sonar to my belly I forget to breathe and feel beads of sweat appear along my brow as I anxiously look for the reasuring pumping of baby's heart - then and only then, do I breathe and enjoy watching all the movements that I have yet to feel.
We move onto the next stage - Is is a girl or a boy? Counting the days off our calander until our next appointment. Our lives consisting of everything baby - all else coming a very far second. Putting stock in every old wives tale that ever existed including the Chinese Gender Chart and hoping that they all tell you what it is you are wanting to hear... those that don't - well you scrap them because they're just wrong aren't they? ;). EVENTUALLY you go for your 16 week scan - more bloods which equals more worry. And of course the very important hot dog or hamburger question. Yes, sadly some of our babies decide to sit with legs together, keeping it a closely guarded secret and the waiting game continues for yet another month. As you know I was one of the lucky one's and walked away with pictures of little hot dog firmly in hand. Celebrations for Oli - his first son, plans for the room, names, buying baby boy's first little outfit .... a flurry of activity. By now you are feeling movement now and again and loving every single minute of it. Perhaps you go for an early 3D scan and stare in amazement at this little being growing so well inside you. The movements become more regular and a pattern starts to develop - which means less need for the doppler. Then suddenly .......

you are 18/19 weeks pregnant, you're first four months gone to where? But now the weeks begin to drag on. Everything is done.. the flurry of activity seems to have settled into an almost calm. You know what you're having, you know baby is doing well, you know it all. The wait begins ........ You are past your earlier aches and pains, in fact you feel so normal you carry on your day to day activities as if you were not even pregnant. Stopping sometimes to remind yourself and others since you are a little miffed that it seems to have been all but forgotten. If you are anything like me - you want to be treated like a queen from beginning to end, to be waited on hand and foot but as things stand now I am still quite capable of shaving my own legs or doing my own pedicures.... roll on third trimester - and yes, I know I shouldn't have said that hehehe but I'll take my chances... I WANT TO FEEL SPECIAL!!

The thing is that the worry is still there, it will never go away but you give yourself small milestones, the biggest being the week that baby is considered viable. Now having been a member of a few TTC and pregnancy sites I have noticed that some infertiles (and I put stress on the word SOME) are of the opinion that unless you have to fight tooth and nail to get pregnant you take it for granted, do not appreciate it, even complain about it. I have two daughters yes and they did come easy to me but for this pregnancy I waited 5 years. All that said, I would simply like to point out that (as above) even though this is my third pregnancy, and I speak for all other pregnant women, I am not riding on the crest of a wave. I have REAL concerns all the time - I worry, I stress, I doubt myself just as much as anybody else .... but I NEVER EVER take this precious little gift from God for granted... that is where a lot of you are wrong.

Pictures

I have not had much time to post lately but will make a concerted effort to sit my ass down tomorrow and catch up ... for now a picture ..



I had my 18wk belly shot taken this morning which I have also loaded. Wow - things are really happening in there....

4D Scan

Yesterday was really an amazing day for me - I saw my little belly bean for a full half an hour. He was so active in there that I couldn't believe I am not feeling these movements all the time. At one point he even waved at us - I nearly started crying. Kaylah went with me so it was really amazing for her to see and she loved every minute. I could harp on for hours about it but I have posted some of the pictures in an album below - click on the album and enjoy....!

Make a Smilebox photobook

The Good the Bad and the Ugly?

Okay well this weekend has been a bit of a tough one for me. Oli and I are not speaking at all and things are just not good at the moment. I asked him to help me clean out the huge mess in the garage this weekend - something I have been asking for a month of weekends and I get accussed of isolating myself and not letting him out. A quick reminder that he has been out EVERY weekend Friday and Saturday since we found out I am pregnant - with or without me!!. I am feeling so lonely in this pregnancy as he has done nothing to show any kind of excitement. I bought the paint for the room on Saturday and no offer was forthcoming to paint the room either. Needless to say Sunday morning started in a fight because he would have rather been out on a pic-nic we were invited to with friends (the same friends we are with EVERY WEEKEND), than at home with me cleaning the garage so i can find all of my daughter's baby things that need cleaning etc. I don't suppose then that its any surprise that he ended up going anyway and took the kids and left me at home alone to sort out the garage - including heavy stuff. I have since got in touch with a councelor who I am going to see hopefully this week and then drag Oli through with me. Hopefully this guy will give some insight as to where I am coming from and make him see that this sort of behaviour is completely distructive, not to mention causing me a great deal of stress which, in turn, is not healthy at all for baby.
Why the fuck should he come along after baby is born and take all the credit when for nine months he just wasn't there? Why must I continue to hang out at bars with friends that are all drinking and smoking when it is somewhere I just don't want to be but I get told "You are acting like your life is over"? Why the fuck does he just not get this? Why does he not take me out to a movie or dinner? Why does he HATE being home so much? I can't live like this and honestly, if this councelor cannot get through to him then I have no other alternative but to pack up my kids and leave. He needs to realise that he is a husband and father and if he enjoys the single life so much then he is absolutely and 100% welcome to it but I will not be sitting around warming dinner for when he decides to come home. I am NOT AN UNPAID FUCKING MAID!!! *deep breath* okay - vent over although I am still hurting a great deal and currently giving him the silent treatment I got some good news today which has helped lift my spirits....

A friend of mine sent a msg to me just now "It's a boy!!" We are about 3 days apart and I found out sex about 2 weeks ago but when she went to the dr baby's legs were crossed. I asked her if her next app. had moved earlier and she explained that the dr. who has a 4D scanner (just bought it) used her today as a guinea pig to see how to work it. So of course, me being me, I wanted a 4D scan too - I was soooo jealous (in a nice way of course). I called the dr. and was thrilled to find that the lady Tania was actually there with her (here in Margate) but flying back to Jhb tonight. Tania is a very experienced sonographer and if you want to know more about what she does her site is: www.4Dultrasound.co.za. - included in her site 3D pic's ranging from 8wks - 40wks. Anyway the receptionist let me speak to her directly and she could THANKFULLY see me today at 3:30pm!!!! Yippeee!!! I can't wait to see my baby!! Okay so its R500 but includes a large printed colour pic + 4 small pictures, a CD with still pictures, a DVD with the moving images with a nice tune playing in the background. They spend about half an hour on it. So she advised that I perhaps eat a small chocolate about 1 hour before I see her but I will probably do it within half an hour in case baby is fast asleep again. Hmmmm what am I going to do with myself until then ..... tick tock tick tock

Back tomorrow with pics!!!!

Some Funny Stuff

I borrowed this from Tam's blog as I thought it was really funny - enjoy!!

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes high school.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A. Childbirth.

Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A. 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?

Q. What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.

Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says, divided by two.

Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q. What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning?
A. It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.

Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.

Q. Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.

Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.

Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A. It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

Q. What are the terrible twos?
A. Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.

Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A. When you see teeth marks.

Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.

Found a Midwife

I'm so thrilled.... I have found a midwife in my area that I never even knew was a midwife before - just thought she was a nurse. I went to speak to her yesterday and have decided to see her every month - along with my gynae - that way I will be seeing one of them every 2 weeks.

I just get so frustrated with my gynae because he doesn't seem to have the time or inclination to explain things properly to me. One visit I asked what the heartbeat was and he said "Oh its over 100 thats all you need to know" - nice huh? Then at another visit casually informs me I have an anterior placenta with no further information. I go on to read that its dangerous if you are having a cesear and um ... newsflash!!! I'm having a cesear due to having one the last time - and this you know!! Of course then there was the weight story where he was kind've cocky and asked if I'd had a really good Christmas - which sent me home with my tail between my legs.

Well I sat with midwife and spoke to her about all my concerns that the dr was not addressing. She was absolutely amazing. She took a urine sample (something I have to ask my dr to do at app's), blood pressure, fundul height. She showed me pictures of the female reproductive organs and exactly what causes the sharp pains in the ligaments. She explained how the placenta moves as you grow. She weighed me and was very happy with what I have put on so far - 4kg's (8.8 pounds). We covered breast feeding and she even explained in great detail how the cesearean procedure at the local hospital will work - i.e. when hubby will come in - where baby will go while I am being stitched etc etc.). She even put my mind at ease regarding my doppler (something the dr had made me worry about) - since she said as long as its not one of those that plug into a computer then its fine. I LOVE HER!!!! AND there were patients in the reception waiting to see her.

Sorry to waffle on like this but finally feel like I have found someone who gives me individualised care and takes my concerns seriously instead of making me feel stupid about them. :o)))

17 Weeks Today

Yippee - I'm 17 weeks today and really feel like I've made headway so fast - where has the time gone? I am now feeling a lot more definate movements so don't have as much need for my doppler. Besides the fact that my gynae told me the other day when I called him in a panic that I should not be using doppler's AT ALL. Yea? whatever - I'm sure that's just because he gets calls much like the one I made to him with half hysterical women not being able to find baby's heartbeat, or hearbeat suddenly slowing right down for a second as mine did (perfectly normal dr told me). So I looked through my little book called "Expectant Mother's Guide" for a listing of midwives in my area and was very excited to find that there is one at the clinic just across the road from my house. I plan to speak to her today about my anterior placenta and what she thinks the chances are of it moving up since my dr is not very forthcoming with information and I find this highly fucking annoying. I would also like to check with her what she thinks of my weight gain thusfar (6kg's) and how she feels about me trying to stick to gaining 2kg's per month or less (last month excluded) - since as previously mentioned, my dr made me feel so bad for the weight I had gained. Then of course there is the all important breastfeeding that I need her to help me with. I need an ally, someone who will stand firm when I waver against the nurses that could potentially ruin my breastfeeding experience like they did with my daughter. One even went so far as to be outright rude to me on my first night after giving birth when my daugher cried a lot and just wanted to feed all night. On leaving strict instructions on the clipboard at the foot of my bed "BREASTFEEDING ONLY" - her comment at about 4am to me was "You mother's all seem to think you know better - you must give a top-up bottle or your baby will starve" .... if I only knew then what I know now - I would have given her a piece of my mind. Ever heard of supply and demand you lazy bitch?? So from that day we fell into a vicious cycle where I thought I never had enough milk so the supplementary bottles became more and more thus causing less and less milk to be produced .... get my drift?? Well this time I will get it right if I die trying - even if it means bringing in my own army to keep that dreaded bottle away from baby.

I have so much going on in my head at the moment - choice of cot being one of them but that is for another day.....

Nursery Dilemma?

I've been worrying a little bit about the nursery because our house has been on the market for the last 1.5 years and although as yet (due to a terrible market) we have not sold, that bitch Murphey's Law will probably have someone waltz in when I'm 8 months pregnant and fall in love with it. This leaves me with the dilemma of painting out baby's room. I am soooo itching to start painting but it just seems everything is on hold because of the house. I spoke to Oli to perhaps take it off the market for the duration of my pregnancy up until baby is at least 6 months old and his theory is that its been on the market so long nothing is going to happen... [insert dark ominous music here] ....

Anyway I think I may just throw caution to the wind and buy the paint this weekend - I want to get started and I'm sick and tired of sitting around on my fat ass doing nothing. I honestly don't even feel like we're expecting a baby - Morgan's room was already painted by this stage. I have so many cute little things from when Morgan was a baby including her baby chairs, camp cot, pram and lots of little toys. What I need is a baby bath, a chest of drawers and some cupboards since this particular room has no built in cupboards believe it or not. At the beginning of the pregnancy I told O that I had the campcot so wouldn't bother with a cot since Morgan's cot was badly damaged by her super powers when she was small - chewing all the paint off the sides, hurdling over the railings when she did not want to sleep, or rattling it like a cage until the screws popped out... so all this action totally bent the mechanisms and coupled with our big move the whole cot finally gave up the ghost and is really only good for firewood right now.

MUGSHOT OF PERPETRATOR BELOW:
(Spot the Halo!!)

I guess that's what you get for buying cheap cots. I have, of course, since changed my mind about getting a cot since I want baby's room to look beautiful and I get so much pleasure in decorating it. I really need to shop around but what I am looking for this time is a cot that doubles as a small bed for when baby grows out of it - that way its not money wasted on something that's only going to be used for 2 years (if that).
I have yet to come up with a theme and have done absolutely no shopping around to get ideas. Why do I feel like time is closing in on me when I am not even halfway yet? I guess its because I know how uncomfortable the last few months can be and I don't want to be worrying about it then. [Note to self - start googling themes for little boys - pronto] [ps.... and names]

I have some pictures below on the current state of the "nursery" and since it is such a big room I am contemplating keeping the queen size bed in there so I don't disturb O in the early days when I wake up to do feeds - such a nice idea right? Then again this all depends on where the cupboards are going - they will probably be free-standing since O does not want to put money into the house if we are selling. Oooohhh so much to plan - its driving me a little batty...


Rocking Chair, Doughnut and Breast Feeding Cushion


Morgan's early baby toys


Camp Cot and Basic Pram


2 Car chairs and some of Morgans Baby Clothes suitable for a little boy

Weighty Issues

I had a huge weight gain with Morgan - somewhere in the region of about 30kg's and in all honesty was not terribly bothered to lose it for at least 4 years. Why? I don't know, I guess I just fell into a horrible rut. I was weighing 92 whopping kg's when we moved to the coast in November 2007 and had nobody to blame but myself and my overzealous appetite for the good life.
I put myself on a diet and over a year I lost about 10kg's and kept the weight off. I still wanted to come down more in weight so not long ago I joined weight watchers and managed to lose more .. my weight at one point dropping to 77kg's (goal weight being 70kg's). The month or two before Christmas saw me start my pregnancy at about 79kg's on 3 December when I found out. As you all know the period leading up to Christmas can be just as detrimental to the diet as Christmas itself. Then of course we had the first three months of pregnancy where I just couldn't stand the thought of eating meat and although I had little to no appetite for dinner (lunch time was the big one) I still managed to put on 4kg's. I know this is due to the amount of carbs I ate since this was the only food I could stomach at the time.
Of course when I went for my 12 week app. my doctor, being very insensitive as some men can be, asked me if I had had a very good Christmas after I told him about my weight gain. Oli found this terribly amusing and continued to do so for the next two days but me? Nooooo way did I find anything remotely funny in that statement and spent the rest of the week beating myself up about it.
Off I went to buy the book "What to Expect - Eating When you're Expecting". I don't follow the book religiously but I have been buying rye and health bread and stay away from white bread. Sweets? sorry but when I have a sweet tooth a sweet i will eat - I am not going to deny myself sweets because dr. came up with some crap about my child developing diabetes later in life due to my sugar intake. I take sugar in moderation and some days I don't have any sweets at all. All in all I think my diet has been very healthy and I am giving baby all the nutrients he needs. I am now, at almost 17 weeks weighing 84.5kg's so I have picked up a total of 5.5kg's. I have decided that I am going to allow myself 1.8kg's per month from here on so if all goes according to plan [she says with a trepidation and a loaded sigh] then by 20weeks I should be weighing around 86.3kg's. Yes I know .... in theory it certainly does sound good but I really am hoping that I can put it into practice. If my estimation is correct then I am allowing myself to go up to around 93/94kg's - a total gain of 15kgs which is fair considering I am going to put everything I have into successful breastfeeding after the birth - a mutually beneficial arrangement I would think....!

A picture I took of my belly kinda freaked me out since my collage of pictures (view previous post) are taken in the morning and NOT at night. A lot changes during the course of the day and you can go from waking with a little bump in the morning to a 7month pregnant belly in the afternoon....

Case in point below:

Good News

Ok so I have been incredibly lazy in updating app. with dr etc but I guess, as they say, no news is good news right? hehe
Okay well Tuesday's app. went well I guess - not that I got any answers but after dr did the scan and checked the nuchal fold it was still at 1.3mm. He immediately told me, however, that he would not attempt an amnio since I have an anterior placenta. This means it covers the front of your uterus. Yes I was very happy that I would not need to convince him that I really did not want the amnio but I was a little miffed because I had read that an anterior placenta can cushion baby's movements / kicks early on when baby is still small and you only feel movements around 18 - 20 weeks along. I guess I am just excited to start feeling movements (edit: just a note that it is now the following Monday and I have since started feeling definate movement [insert stupid grin here] - especially last night - it was there for a while but I guess silly me just didn't believe it was anything but gas). So after taking baby's measurements he tells me I am far enough to go straight to lab for my triple screen bloods and that he will rather work on those results coupled with the NT scan to determine if I need further testing. He wanted my downs results to be above 1/2000. My results came in on Thursday and he called me to tell me the Nural Tube results were 1/12000 (wooohooo!!) and the downs was 1/1450. I was still very sceptical since he had told me he wanted them above 2000 but he was happy with them and advised against doing further testing. However ..... yes, however - I have decided to do an 18wk scan with the fetal specialist as I have heard very rare cases of a negative result with NT scan and bloods and the baby is still born with downs. Yes, I am a born warrior and precision planner so honestly I would prefer to know exactly what to expect when baby is born. Besides all that I really want to see baby in 4D while dr. does a detailed head to toe analysis.

Apart from all that my pregnancy symptoms have been a little up and down I guess. I have random episodes of nausea and I actually find it incredibly difficult to brush my tongue while doing the teeth in the morning. The other morning I think I went just a little too far back and ended up over the toilet bowl heaving but having just woken up with an empty stomach absolutely nothing came out and I ended up with a very painful diaphram so lay down on the bed for a bit until I felt I could breathe without choking. Heartburn - although it came in much later than with my last pregnancy, it definately came in, although also random. I can't say I have it everyday but I have definately noticed that any refined carbs like white bread, biscuits or pastry makes it flair up something terrible. I have not had any cravings at all which is slightly disappointing lol - but where it was pickles with my two girls its absolutely nothing with this one. I LOVE slush puppies though and have actually started buying myself one on an almost daily basis but that can't be considered a craving - I guess the ice just cools me down. My moods are also very up and down and I have a lot of "episodes". In fact I had an episode on Saturday where I cried all morning and hated the world, especially Oli. The thing that I try time and time again to explain to him is that this heightened sensitivity is not just me but a VERY normal part of being pregnant and affects some women a lot more than others. He seems to say all the wrong things when I have a moment instead of just zipping his lips and taking it in his stride. He takes it all so personally and quite frankly I couldn't be bothered babying him when I feel like I am the one that needs taking care of. Maybe the pregnancy just doesn't feel real to him yet but I guess I'm just looking for the same enthusiasm from him as I feel but the TV always seems more important when I want to talk about the baby. Normally I would let it slide but these pregnancy hormones just wont let me. I get sad over it and angry and feel alone in this - eventually working myself up to a crying bout and for God knows what exactly. I just want him to recognise it for what it is and do and say everything right but I guess I'm asking for stars from the sky and its just not going to happen. I know I am at fault because I shout at him for nothing, even when he tries to make me a nice breakfast and gets it wrong - yes ... I'm a pregnant BITCH!!! And I hate it!! I know I need to try control my moods but wouldn't it just be easier if he did nothing wrong??? I mean it's only 9 months right??? ..... right??? hehehehe

Okay - enough whining - I'm giving myself a tension headache. Below I have added some updated pictures - click to enlarge.