The Good the Bad and the Ugly?

Okay well this weekend has been a bit of a tough one for me. Oli and I are not speaking at all and things are just not good at the moment. I asked him to help me clean out the huge mess in the garage this weekend - something I have been asking for a month of weekends and I get accussed of isolating myself and not letting him out. A quick reminder that he has been out EVERY weekend Friday and Saturday since we found out I am pregnant - with or without me!!. I am feeling so lonely in this pregnancy as he has done nothing to show any kind of excitement. I bought the paint for the room on Saturday and no offer was forthcoming to paint the room either. Needless to say Sunday morning started in a fight because he would have rather been out on a pic-nic we were invited to with friends (the same friends we are with EVERY WEEKEND), than at home with me cleaning the garage so i can find all of my daughter's baby things that need cleaning etc. I don't suppose then that its any surprise that he ended up going anyway and took the kids and left me at home alone to sort out the garage - including heavy stuff. I have since got in touch with a councelor who I am going to see hopefully this week and then drag Oli through with me. Hopefully this guy will give some insight as to where I am coming from and make him see that this sort of behaviour is completely distructive, not to mention causing me a great deal of stress which, in turn, is not healthy at all for baby.
Why the fuck should he come along after baby is born and take all the credit when for nine months he just wasn't there? Why must I continue to hang out at bars with friends that are all drinking and smoking when it is somewhere I just don't want to be but I get told "You are acting like your life is over"? Why the fuck does he just not get this? Why does he not take me out to a movie or dinner? Why does he HATE being home so much? I can't live like this and honestly, if this councelor cannot get through to him then I have no other alternative but to pack up my kids and leave. He needs to realise that he is a husband and father and if he enjoys the single life so much then he is absolutely and 100% welcome to it but I will not be sitting around warming dinner for when he decides to come home. I am NOT AN UNPAID FUCKING MAID!!! *deep breath* okay - vent over although I am still hurting a great deal and currently giving him the silent treatment I got some good news today which has helped lift my spirits....

A friend of mine sent a msg to me just now "It's a boy!!" We are about 3 days apart and I found out sex about 2 weeks ago but when she went to the dr baby's legs were crossed. I asked her if her next app. had moved earlier and she explained that the dr. who has a 4D scanner (just bought it) used her today as a guinea pig to see how to work it. So of course, me being me, I wanted a 4D scan too - I was soooo jealous (in a nice way of course). I called the dr. and was thrilled to find that the lady Tania was actually there with her (here in Margate) but flying back to Jhb tonight. Tania is a very experienced sonographer and if you want to know more about what she does her site is: www.4Dultrasound.co.za. - included in her site 3D pic's ranging from 8wks - 40wks. Anyway the receptionist let me speak to her directly and she could THANKFULLY see me today at 3:30pm!!!! Yippeee!!! I can't wait to see my baby!! Okay so its R500 but includes a large printed colour pic + 4 small pictures, a CD with still pictures, a DVD with the moving images with a nice tune playing in the background. They spend about half an hour on it. So she advised that I perhaps eat a small chocolate about 1 hour before I see her but I will probably do it within half an hour in case baby is fast asleep again. Hmmmm what am I going to do with myself until then ..... tick tock tick tock

Back tomorrow with pics!!!!