17 Weeks Today

Yippee - I'm 17 weeks today and really feel like I've made headway so fast - where has the time gone? I am now feeling a lot more definate movements so don't have as much need for my doppler. Besides the fact that my gynae told me the other day when I called him in a panic that I should not be using doppler's AT ALL. Yea? whatever - I'm sure that's just because he gets calls much like the one I made to him with half hysterical women not being able to find baby's heartbeat, or hearbeat suddenly slowing right down for a second as mine did (perfectly normal dr told me). So I looked through my little book called "Expectant Mother's Guide" for a listing of midwives in my area and was very excited to find that there is one at the clinic just across the road from my house. I plan to speak to her today about my anterior placenta and what she thinks the chances are of it moving up since my dr is not very forthcoming with information and I find this highly fucking annoying. I would also like to check with her what she thinks of my weight gain thusfar (6kg's) and how she feels about me trying to stick to gaining 2kg's per month or less (last month excluded) - since as previously mentioned, my dr made me feel so bad for the weight I had gained. Then of course there is the all important breastfeeding that I need her to help me with. I need an ally, someone who will stand firm when I waver against the nurses that could potentially ruin my breastfeeding experience like they did with my daughter. One even went so far as to be outright rude to me on my first night after giving birth when my daugher cried a lot and just wanted to feed all night. On leaving strict instructions on the clipboard at the foot of my bed "BREASTFEEDING ONLY" - her comment at about 4am to me was "You mother's all seem to think you know better - you must give a top-up bottle or your baby will starve" .... if I only knew then what I know now - I would have given her a piece of my mind. Ever heard of supply and demand you lazy bitch?? So from that day we fell into a vicious cycle where I thought I never had enough milk so the supplementary bottles became more and more thus causing less and less milk to be produced .... get my drift?? Well this time I will get it right if I die trying - even if it means bringing in my own army to keep that dreaded bottle away from baby.

I have so much going on in my head at the moment - choice of cot being one of them but that is for another day.....