mY LiTtLe CiRcUs

My maid is still out of action after her hysterectomy and managed to get a post-surgical incision hematoma so there is a part of her incision site that is continually bleeding. After doing some reading on this it seems the sister did the right thing in putting her on antibiotics and sending her to bed with strict instructions to only move when going to the toilet. It seems that for the most part these things get reabsorbed by the body eventually so here's hoping - I have so much on my plate right now and can't be driving back and forward to the hospital every 5 minutes.
On top of worrying about her, helping her daughter clean the house (due to her also having to look after her baby who still cries a lot), and having my own sick little baby this week so getting very little sleep - i am honestly drained. Oli hasn't been around much at all lately as he has been on business travels so I'm pretty much doing it all.
My daughters DO NOT STOP FIGHTING - they are constantly at eachothers throats and every 5 minutes one or the other comes running to me complaining.

I wake in the morning, get everyone up, give T a bottle, snuggle, nappy change, make sure Morgan has lunch and try to remember that on certain days she has ballet, swimming or sport, remember cookie day on Thursdays and tuck money on Fridays, do the pony tail just so - no lumps and it has to be a high pony - all this while T is on the bed with me barricaded with pillows but due to his newfound mobility - my one hand is always on the ready. Put T in his cot with lots of toys so I can have a quick bath, do make-up, hair, get dressed. Kaylah helps where she can with the morning routine but spends a large part of it on her hair.
I get home from work at 2:30pm after fetching Kaylah from school, kick off my shoes, put on shorts, wash my hands and take Trent for the afternoon, play with him etc etc., do homework with Morgan, sort out fights, cook T's dinner (he's having a lot of purity these days for obvious reasons), sort out more fights, bath T and then have to ask Kaylah to give him his last bottle while I quickly try throw something together for dinner which needs to be ready by 7pm so Morgan can bath, wash her hair and be in bed by 8pm (we read a bedtime story but only 4 pages a night (only after yet another fight between the girls)). T has by this time been sleeping for about an hour - I shower, climb into bed, turn on the TV and T wakes up. We spend another hour or two up and down until he finally settles.

Somewhere in my day I have to find time to make sure the cupboards are always full of groceries, that there is always bread for school and milk for breakfast. Last week Kaylah went to the dentist and I was told she needs to go 1.5 hours away to get her wisdom teeth cut out. This week she is going back to said dentist for two fillings. Today I have to leave work early to take T to the paed and tomorrow I have an appointment with the chiro. SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE ME MORE HOURS IN A DAY!!!!

How is it that women manage to do so much and still cope (I didn't say cope well - I said cope) yet men get up, have a shit, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, have a shit, read the Autotrader, sit down for dinner, have a shit, go to bed and with a big sigh, a fart and a moan about how busy they were - then roll over and fall asleep with thunderous snores?

Yesterday I was running on less than empty ... I only managed to go to sleep the night before at around 12 midnight due to all sorts of disturbances and at 1am Trent woke up and the crying began, he was inconsolable until eventually at 2:30am I gave him medicine, teething powder and rocked him until he fell asleep. Not good for my back of course so after climbing into bed myself I had sharp pains shooting down my leg and took some miprodol. Yet although I wanted to crawl up and die at work yesterday - when i got home, I briefly stood on the front patio, took a deep breath, pushed my overwhelming need to sleep to the back of my mind and walked in, washed hands and took Trent whose temperature once again was right up. The cycle continued.... Thank goodness last night he was asleep by 7pm and didn't wake again until 5:30am so I'm back on track..... for now (I need to mention that his second tooth popped out on Saturday)

Now for those who are dying to remind me of how blessed I am to have a house full of kids I have to stress that rather than complaining I am giving my self a much-deserved pat on the back. I type this with a smile on my face and can honestly see the humour in it now that I have caught up on much needed sleep. You see there are times when I just want to be alone with no kids, husbands or demands but the minute the house is quiet I feel the most overwhelming sense of loneliness and my mind begins wondering to places it really shouldn't ... the what if's....... ? What if I didn't have all this? What if it was all taken away from me? I end up doing nothing but pacing until they return and once again my house is filled with the sounds of laughter, fighting, crying .... life. I wouldn't want it any other way and God has blessed me abundantly with a house full of chaos because he believes in me and therefore I believe in myself.