Trent Riley is finally here

Yes I am finally the proud new mommy of my first little boy Trent Riley. What can I say except that I am so in love with him and often catch myself just staring at him in a trance-like state.

The birth story itself is very uneventful and almost seems a little too "planned" when compared to the excitement and unpredictability of the birth of both my girls but either way I loved the experience and I am completely infatuated with the little boy that was my gift at the end of it.

Sunday, the day before my scheduled caesar was a little surreal. There was always an element of doubt that I was actually meeting Trent the following morning but still I went through the motions of making sure the room was completely ready and that my bags were packed perfectly. I lazed around a lot on Sunday and Oli cooked us a lovely beef roast. By Sunday evening the nerves started kicking in and I started thinking of everything that could possibly go wrong - I probably said 50 prayers. I eventually fell asleep at about 11:30pm and was awake again by 3:30am even though my alarm was only set for 4:30am. After trying unsuccessfully to go back to sleep I decided at 4am to get up and bath. I woke Oli up at 5am and it was really nice to not be alone anymore because my nerves were completely frazzled for some reason. We kissed the kids goodbye and were on our way. I was back in bed in the hospital at 6:15am listening to baby's heartbeat and feeling like my own was going to beat a hole in my chest. When they put up the IV line Oli actually got so nauseous and quickly left the ward - just for a tiny bit on blood on my hand? When he got back I told him I hoped he was not going to pass out with the caesar as he needed to take the video. I was told I was going through at 8am and suddenly things just felt like they were haoppening so fast.

Two sister's came in - one armed with a plastic razor and the other with the catheter. I had shaved just about everything off but still she dry shaved me in front which made my skin crawl. I asked the other sister why they were not doing the catheter after the spinal and she said it was my dr. that preferred his patients were completely ready when he came in to operate. So much to my embarrassment and utter discomfort she inserted the catheter there and then - VERY uncomfortable. I still kept feeling like I needed to pee and it burned like hell. I was told it was just because my body was trying to get rid of something foreign. The anaethetist came and met us and I really liked him a lot as he offered to take pictures with the camera for us while Oli manned the video cam.

Before I knew it I was being wheeled into theatre and all the theatre staff were so amazing in trying to relax me - even those that were not going to be in theatre with me. Oli was taken away to get dressed and I was wheeled into the room. The midwife (who I know quite well from around town) was amazing and stood close by me when the spinal was administered. First he cleaned my back with some very cold stuff and then injected a local anesthetic which was a little painful. The midwife had me curl right into her and I felt the needle go very deep into my back - not painful just uncomfortable. It seemed to take a very long time for it to start working and I remember asking him how I would know it had taken fully before they started cutting me and he made a joke that i could just scream if the cutting hurt - I contintued to wiggle my toes at intervals and pannicked when I could still do it. My dr. came in at that point ready to start the procedure but on pinching my lower belly I could still feel it in certain spots so they had to wait. I asked about 3 times where Oli was and they said they would let him in just as soon as the spinal had taken full effect. Finally I could no longer wiggle my toes but I was still amazingly nervous about them cutting me and that I would feel it.

The anaesthetist was amazing at relaxing me by talking to me the whole time. Oli was then let in the room and the camera started rolling - at one point I still asked him how he was feeling and the dr's found it quite funny since I was the one under the knife. All I can say is that I felt every single pull and push sensation (minus the pain) but it was not pretty to feel or listen to. I heard them saying they had to make the cut a little wider because of scar tissue from the previous one so getting through that took a little longer than expected. Before I knew it they had pulled his head out and the comments were flying around the room what a huge baby he was. They struggled to get his shoulders out and at that point the anaesthetist told me I needed to help them push, which I did and his shoulder came out a little like a cork on a champagne bottle....

All I waited for was the first cry and he did not disappoint me.... it was a gurgled little cry but I just burst into tears the minute I heard it. Dr held him up and I got the briefest look at him before they took him to the table to clean him and give him oxygen. They allowed Oli to cut the cord shorter at the table and I remember he told me he couldn't believe how strong the cord was. I also heard comments about my placenta and how big it was, my dr actually said "for such a big baby you needed such a big healthy placenta". After Trent was wrapped Oli brought him to me to look at and again the tears just flowed. The midwife and Oli then left for the nursery and I remember feeling so alone. I just wanted to hold and be with my baby but I was trapped. The stitching me back up seemed to take forever but that could have also been because I was feeling cheated that I had as yet not got to hold baby and hadn't seen his face properly.

I was wheeled into recovery thereafter and kept asking the nurses there when I could leave. They checked my b/p about 4 times and I was ready to start screaming for them to let me go because the one nurse was training another one so they were very thorough with their checks with me and taking added time .... time that I would much rather use bonding with my brand new baby. Finally they asked the anaesthetist if I could go and he said yes. The corridor seemed to go on forever and finally I got wheeled into my ward. My FIL and both my girls were already there and had seen him and I know this may sound very strange to say but I was a little grumpy about that. I would have loved to have been there with him introducing him to my girls, seeing their expressions the very first time they laid eyes on him but I guess it was not to be. That and the fact my FIL got to see him before I had even seen him did not sit that well with me. Oh well - it was all over when the the midwife brought him from the nursery and put him in my arms.... everything else just slipped away - it was just him and I at that moment. When I was told how much he weighed I simply could not believe it. 4.2kg's is very big but to me he still looked like a small newborn baby albeit a little on the chubby side. 52cm's in length and a 36cm head circumference. His apgar was 9/10 and then 10/10 so all was healthy.

I was pretty helpless that first day due to the catheter and the IV and hardly slept because I felt like I was in a drug induced state was awake but up in the clouds if that makes sense - not a nice feeling. They looked after Trent in the nursery that night which was a God-send because I just couldn't have done it. They let me breastfeed at 10:30pm and then I told them to just top up with formula through the night, which they did in a small cup. Early hours of the morning they took the IV out and then at 4:30am they took the catheter out. It was so wonderful to stand up have a shower - even though my legs initially did not want to carry me. After my shower things deteriorated rapidly. The ward was incredibly busy that day and my husband was busy at work so popped in for a very short morning visit and only came back again late afternoon. During the day I had no help because the staff were busy and I had no visitors to help me pick him up and put him down without causing more pain to my already very sore c/s cut. The pain of having gas was absolutely terrible and I had to keep asking for something to take it away ... my stomach was so bloated I felt I was going to explode. Then suddenly early afternoon I got the runs - badly!!! Picture it - baby cryng for milk all time time and me running to the toilet every five minutes - sitting in the toilet having to hear my baby cryng for me down the hall. Trying to hurry back to him to give him the breast when my stomach was in so much pain. Just getting him settled on the breast and the cramps to go to the toilet starting again. Nipples starting to crack up at a rapid rate so very sore nipples to add to all the other problems. Oli arrived at 3pm with Morgan for his visit and I was so glad to see him as I needed all the help I could get. He had to leave to finish something up at the office (which is 5 minutes away) and asked if he could leave Morgan with me - BIG MISTAKE!!!!!! I wanted to say no but felt bad for her so I said yes but told him he needed to make sure he was not longer than half an hour. Well there I was alone with baby and Morgan and the stomach cramps started again and I needed to run to the toilet. Baby was awake and trying to feed again and I didn't want to leave him alone with her so I sat with a dilemma again and at this point I just wanted to sit down and cry!!! I called Oli and told him to get back to the hospital PRONTO!!! When he got there I was on the verge of breaking down but what eventually did it was when he calmly told me that some friends Paul and Kathy were coming to see me during visiting hours that night. I lost it with him and went through the whole day's events (crying through it all by the way) and told him he was the most insensitive person on earth that he just expected me to pop a baby out and carry on as normal, putting on smiles for every Tom, Dick and Harry that decides to visit. Of course he tried to argue with me .... once again BIG MISTAKE!!!! I actually kicked him out .... hehehe - can't remember my words but told him to get out and not come back.

I managed to catch up ever so slightly on some much needed sleep that night so by the following day things were looking positive again. Trent and I had bonded so well during the night because he slept with me and we did our own little photo shoots in the middle of the night. I decided the following day that I was rather going to go home and not stay the final night - it was just too much and I have a brilliant support system at home and felt my recovery would be quicker there. I have a wonderful live-in maid Anna and of course my teen daughter so was more than ready to go home. My bandage had torn from all the moving around the day before so dr had them redress me. While they were doing that Oli (who very wisely did not mention my previous night's outburst) sat in the corridor with Trent and the paed happened to walk past while he was there and commented that Trent looked a little yellow and he wanted to check him. Bloods were ordered and a few minutes later a lady came from the lab and took him to the nursery where she was to draw blood. She pricked his heel and couldn't get blood to come out and all I heard was Trent screaming blue murder - I burst into tears and told Oli I couldn't take it anymore because his crying just wouldn't stop. My heart was breaking :o(( She then pricked him AGAIN but this time in his arm to try get the blood from there and once again both Trent and I were hysterical. Damn I wanted to kill that woman!! When I got him back I kept telling him how sorry I am (by the way he had terrible bruising on his heel because of this). We obviously then couldn't leave as planned because we had to wait for the results so Oli went back to work and Trent and I fell asleep again. Eventually the results came back and thank God he was fine - no jaundice so I was over the moon we did not have to spend another night.

We came straight home and I got back into pj's and straight back into bed. I had the most relaxing afternoon sleep while Oli lay next to me with Trent. I had breastfed just before sleeping so whenever he moaned Oli gave him a dummy and he was fine until I woke up.

I have to post news on my days at home but since this post has already been so long I will stop here and update again very soon including stories on breastfeeding, c/s pain, slight fevers and indescribable love...

I love this little boy so much it scares me .... every part of my being just wants to protect him. God has been good to us ... we are truly blessed.